'Chair' has been with me for fifteen years or so, and although I did not often think of it with the same affection that I have for 'joystick', 'monitor' or even 'mug', it is only fair to say that 'chair' has been with me for longer than any of them. 'Chair' has been my almost constant companion throughout the last decade and a half of gaming, following me loyally from house to house, giving much needed support to my tired limbs and never batting a plastic eyelid at the sometimes unspeakable acts of digital murder and mutilation to which it became a forced accomplice.
Sadly, even the best of relationships must come to an end. In its final months 'chair' became truculent and uncooperative. It began to balk at even the simplest of lateral movements, developed a small sharp bit that necessitated the purchase of a cushion, and gradually started to sink lower and lower despite my constant demands otherwise. Finally, in what some people might call an act of treason but I prefer to put down to senility, 'chair' began to try to throw me out. The locking mechanism for 'chair's' tilt action became worn to the point that any shifting of my weight ran the risk of suddenly firing the seat into the 'fully upright' position with an almighty bang, sending coffee, mice and keyboards flying. Gaming sessions began to resemble high-tension games of full-size Buckaroo, and I began to develop a bad back.
In the end something had to give, and it had to be 'chair'. With tears in my eyes I ordered 'new chair' from Overclockers, and it arrived yesterday. I am pleased to say that it is comfy as fuck, and I will miss 'old chair' not one whit whilst I am riding into battle perched on my new mount, like a medieval knight riding on a chubby red-striped pig.
The chair is dead! Long live the chair!
(Pictured: Old chair and new chair, obviously.)
brilliant. I wish you and chair (new and old) all the best..
